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A Man who fails is greater than a man who succeeds badly.
One who is content with what he has, and who accepts the fact that he inevitably misses very much in life, is far better off than one who has much more but who worries about all he may be missing. For we cannot make the best of what we are, if our hearts are always divided between what we are and what we are not.
The lower our estimate of ourselves and the lower our expectations, the greater chance we have of using what we have. If we do not know how poor we are we will never be able to appreciate what we actually have. But, above all, we must learn our own weakness in order to awaken to a new order of action and of being—and experience God Himself accomplishing in us the things we find impossible.
We cannot be happy if we expect to live all the time at the highest peak of intensity. Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance and order and rhythm and harmony.
Music is pleasing not only because of the sound but because of the silence that is in it: without the alternation of sound and silence there would be no rhythm. If we strive to be happy by filling all the silences of life with sound, productive by turning all life’s leisure into work, and real by turning all our being into doing, we will only succeed in producing a hell on earth.
If we have no silence, God is not heard in our music. If we have no rest, God does not bless our work. If we twist our lives out of shape in order to fill every corner of them with action and experience, God will silently withdraw from our hearts and leave us empty.
Let us, therefore, learn to pass from one imperfect activity to another without worrying too much about what we are missing. It is true that we make many mistakes. But the biggest of them all is to be surprised at them: as if we had some hope of never making any.
Mistakes are part of our life, and not the least important part. If we are humble, and if we believe in the Providence of God, we will see that our mistakes are not merely a necessary evil, something we must lament and count as lost: they enter into the very structure of our existence. It is by making mistakes that we gain experience, not only for ourselves but for others. And though our experience prevents neither ourselves nor others from making the same mistakes many times, the repeated experience still has a positive value.
--My experience with this field of a divided being and a heart that has so little hope and assurance for my own entity makes me constantly on the lookout for the next thing. I feel that the estimate of myself at this moment in time is indeed at a low. I understand that being at a low undeniably has its downs, however I truly am developing more of a justifiable understanding of who I am supposed to be in life. I know what I have. My weaknesses are making me more of a man in God’s eyes and the essence of myself realizing that is likewise strengthen my being. With my heart focused on Him accomplishing impossible things that I once thought were completely unattainably are now beginning to look more like a reality within my life.
The moment I realized this phase of not being able to have that self-gratifying moment of intensity in my life, I became broken and hungry for Him and Him alone. When constantly at work feeding yourself for the wrong reasons a type of dissatisfaction is soon developed; this sense of unhappiness is considered a grey area in life where it is difficult to apprehend the beauty of silence and leisure. Indeed, we truly do need the silence in life in order to hear the truth that is being shown to us.
Within the progress of this realization of my being it unfortunately came with mistakes of my own, however, they are apart of life and truly do serve as the least important part in this ever passing thing we call life. When a mistake becomes uprooted in life we should not dwell on it and continually tenderize and preserve it by engulfing it with salt. Thus would be extremely unhealthy and could ultimately lead to evil doings, conversely, realize the mistake with your own being and accept the fact that one was made. Once this is truly realized and sought, God will mend the situation and thus will be embedded for future knowledge. --